The Daily Telegraph has no credibility on journalism standards

It is simultaneously amusing and sickening to see News Limited newspapers attempting to lecture the ABC on standards in journalism.

Coming from the organisation that brought you the Abbott government, whether you wanted it, or not, it is a bit rich to complain of un-Australian, left-wing bias at the national broadcaster.

The chief stenographer at the Daily Telegraph is gainfully employed re-writing press releases and disguising advertising as news and the columnists are at the bar dictating their arid thoughts to the keyboard chimps.

It seems that even children’s programming and something as harmless as “Peppa Pig” is being dragged into this ridiculous and totally manufactured “debate” about bias and standards.

Seriously, now Piers Akerman is going after a fucking pig!

Here’s how Akerman got stuck in to the ABC in The Daily Telegraph yesterday (Friday 13 December):

…the ABC’s contribution to Australian life is just as saturated with Left-wing propaganda as its news and current affairs.

Just turn on Triple J, which Spigelman boasts has 670,000 Facebook friends, and try and find a middle-of-the-road point of view, let alone attempt to sift out the Left and hard-Left sludge.

Even the cartoon character Peppa Pig pushes a weird feminist line that would be closer to the hearts of Labor’s Handbag Hit Squad than the pre-school audience it is aimed at.

Really? Akerman could be regarded a douchebag of the lowest intelligence; but maybe he was just confusing Friday the 13th with what you do on 1st of April. or maybe Piers has been into the Ajax again. Either that or the Limited News columnists really are on a tight editorial leash and the groupthink is worse than we first imagined.

It is not enough to have one column, it must be buttressed, reinforced, over-egged, beaten-up, cross-promoted and said again till the poor metaphor is bleeding to death and the monkey-at-the-keyboard is suffering repetitive strain injury in both wrists.

I haven’t read The Terrorgraph for some time, so it was interesting (if a little sick-inducing) to browse through a copy for an hour or so on Friday.

The first thing that struck me was that the Terrorgraph is still campaigning in the September election. Perhaps no one’s noticed that it’s over, or the fumes of Col Allen are still thick in the air. Or, maybe it’s the after-effects of all the Kool-Aid.

Whatever reason, the Terrorgraph seems to think that Labor’s still in charge and it’s all their fault. The lead on this frame was provided by columnist Simon Benson, who wrote of Tony Abbott’s first 100 “disappointing days”.

And why exactly did Simon Benson find the PM’s first three months in office so disappointing?

Not because he fucked up royally on several issues and has fallen behind in the polls; not because he failed to show any leadership, compassion or commonsense and not because he’s a thuggish bully who’s CoS is a certifiable controlfreak and not because of the the broken promises.

No, none of that rubbish. Simon was disappointed because ‘their Tony’ had not been working hard enough on the real agenda of government – trashing your opponents reputation beyond redemption.

This the Coalition has so far failed to accomplish. It has not yet re-affirmed for people the magnitude of the economic mess Labor has left nor convinced them of the severity of what needs to be done to fix it. And it will soon run out of public sympathy for the blame game.

So, the chimps and gimps at The Terrorgraph are here to help.

There you go Tony, that’s how you do it!

The Terrorgraph is also not averse to manufacturing a “debate”, particularly if it can be pegged off a line from ‘their Tony’.  The debate we are about to have – courtesy of News Limited’s fevered datacore of lame ideas – is that it’s OK to give the kids a little love tap when they misbehave, speak out of turn, cry for no reason, or generally piss you off.

And the PM says it’s OK to give the kids a “gentle” whack, so that’s alright then.

“I was probably one of those guilty parents who did chastise the children – with pretty gentle smacks, I’ve got to say,” he said. “I think that we’ve got to treat our kids well, but I don’t think we ought to say that there’s no place ever for a smack.”

He did admit that the smack should never be something that hurts a child – but that “all parents know that occasionally the best thing that we can give a kid is a smack”.

Yep, that’s right. There’s nothing wrong with giving the kids a backhander or a little slap now and again.

It has to be done! Cruel to be kind and all that.

Of course, if you don’t whack-a-mole the young’uns now and again, they’ll never learn who’s boss. Yes, that’s right, isn’t it Tony?

If you don’t blatter the kids with everything short of a baseball bat they will never understand THE ADULTS ARE BACK IN CHARGE.

Discipline, standards and letting them know THE ADULTS ARE IN CHARGE NOW

Discipline, standards and letting them know THE ADULTS ARE IN CHARGE NOW

Thank God (or whomever) for Tony Abbott, he is the only thing standing between us and oppressive world government. If the United Nations says it’s not OK to smack your kids then that’s a slippery slope to homocommunism.

Of course, it’s not all hard work and solid graft over at the Terrorgraph, it’s a newspaper that knows all about entertainment values too, so to keep the punters of western Sydney happy, the Terrorgraph let them know about a brand new amusement park that’s opened just around the corner.

It was a helpful guide to all the rides, thrills, spills and attractions. Of course, the Terrorgraph is community-minded and so to help a new local business get off the ground, the paper thoughtfully provided some useful advice to its readers — when you go to the amusement park, be sure to empty your pockets before you go home.

Spend money to save when you visit Wet'n'Wild where you won't pay for any fancy quality

Spend money to save when you visit Wet’n’Wild where you won’t pay for any fancy quality

Yes, folks, be sure to spend every cent while you are enjoying the rides and the crap food. If you want to stay out of the sun, you can buy some shade for the cheap price of $89 a day in one of the “cabanas” because there are no trees. Hungry? Don’t bring your own sandwiches, purchase the in-house burger option for $15.95 and $4.50 for a bottle of water. Got kids? Then cough up even more so that they can enjoy the privilege of being in the Wet’n’Wild “nippers”.

The marketing department couldn’t have put it any better. Well done to the chief stenographer and monkey-in-charge.

Tips for the unsure visitor. Here's how to spend your money quickly and conveniently.

Tips for the unsure visitor. Here’s how to spend your money quickly and conveniently.

Here’s one I prepared earlier.

One Response to The Daily Telegraph has no credibility on journalism standards

  1. DeanyZ1 says:

    Talk about Pires Hackerman complaining about subtle messages from Peppa Pig being outrageous – This is the norm in USA –
    ‘The cover features the beaming senator pointing at a flourishing tea plant whose stalks are stenciled with “Ten Commandments” and “U.S. Constitution.” It has leaves that include “Gun rights,” ”Free Enterprise,” and “Lower Taxes.”
    At the top is a leaf reading “White House,” and the plant is growing on a lawn and root system that spell out “Grass Roots,” a reference to Cruz’s wild popularity with conservative activist groups.’
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/12/ted-cruz-coloring-book_n_4434114.html

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