Another high-profile and totally unexpected self-destruction. One of my favourite musicians, Steve Page of BNL, has been busted on drug charges in New York.

Moac and I are devestated. If Pagey goes to gaol for 15 years there’ll be no more BNL.

Even worse for kiddy-fans, the band has cancelled a gig it was going to do at the Disney Music Block Party in a couple of weeks.

The gory details at “Dish Rag“, the LA Times gossip blogl

Our friend Billy is visiting, so last night we decided to drop into our local bar (it’s walking distance) for pizza.

On previous visits we’ve been charmed by it’s quirky hole-in-the-wall feel; the friendly staff; the hot, crisp and tasty pizzas and the reasonable wine list.

The drinks menu even featured an apple martini. I didn’t ever try this, but I knew it probably meant Marty (barkeep) could mix a drink. I took him up on this and had an acceptable gin martini one evening.

But last night was a different story. As sometimes happens when a venue changes hands it goes into some sort of death spiral.

I spotted a bottle of Bombay on the counter and after a couple of domestics earlier at home, I was in the groove and thought “Hell, why not, I’ll have a martini while we wait for the pizzas.” I knew things were not going well when the barkeep went into the tiny kitchen and came back with a jar of kalamatas.

Ms barkeep took the lid off the jar and her, the new manager and the pizza cook all had a good long sniff of the olives. It was obvious at that point that they had no stuffed, green olives. I’ve had a martini with black olives before and I don’t recommend it. But it is weird and hard to believe that a number of otherwise fine drinking establishments around town don’t keep a decent supply of the proper olives on hand. It’s happened to me in flash Sydney hotels, not just dives.

Anyway, I called out “Don’t put those in my drink, have you got lemon?” Ms barkeep said “Yes,” so I asked for a twist. She then held up the lemon in front of me and made a twisting motion. I think she said something along the lines of “You want me to twist like this, the peel in the glass?”

I nodded, thinking we were getting somewhere. But no, Ms barkeep’s next move totally stunned me.

She took a martini-shaped glass down from the rack and poured straight into it a cup full of vermouth. Of course, the label on the vermouth bottle read “Martini”.

I groaned, looked at Billy and said “Forfcu&’sake.” At that point I called a halt to all martini-related shennanigans and ordered an Oyster Bay sav-blanc. But the pain and humiliation didn’t stop there.

When our take-away order arrived - two pizzas for the boys and a lasagna for Moac - we were in for more unwelcome surprises.

The pizzas were awful. I distinctly remember telling Billy “No tandoori chicken, that’s a bastard topping and does not belong on a pizza.” He concurred, so we got two pizzas from the menu - those with the most meat. One had “sweet mustard dressing” which I wouldn’t normally want on pizza, but went along with because the rest of it sounded pretty good.

Alas, the dressing was from a Pam’s squeeze bottle and the other pizza had tandoori chicken (which had never been inside a tandoor oven) and some awful sweet, dreadful brown stuff that Billy reckoned was chutney. I’m not so sure that it wasn’t something much more awful.

Moac’s lasagna was nearly cold when we arrived at the house - two minutes after leaving the bar.

All up that awful experience cost $77.00. Billy thinks we were given the wrong order, I’m not so sure. At one point the pizza cook grabbed $5 from the till and was obviously on his way to buy something for the kitchen. He had a hurried conversation with manager-dude, put the note back in the till and went back into the kitchen. I reckon he was told: “Whatever you’re out of, don’t worry, put whatever shit you like on the pizzas, these guys have already paid.” It sure tasted like it when we got them home.

I come not to praise Cesar’s but to bury the corpse of a once fine local bar.

Thanks to my subscribers, regular readers and drop-ins. For what it’s worth Ethical Martini has now had over 20,000 unique visitors. That’s Ok in just over a year, for a blog that came from left field.

And I’d just like to say: “You’re all unique.”

I hope I keep you informed and entertained. Drop me a line, or join the fun. Applications now open for keen, ethical, martini-friendly and outspoken accomplices.

cheers

EM

I’m bewildered and saddened. On top of everything else an Australian journalist is now facing up to 20 years in gaol for drug offences in Singapore.

I was a bit shocked by the news about ABC reporter Peter Lloyd. It was a similar feeling of numb “Huh?” that I felt when I first heard/read about Tony Veitch.

What’s going on?

I can’t help thinking - and not for the first time - that journos (we) have a self-destructive streak. Though I’m not really convinced that it is explained by purely psychological causes.

There’s very little information at the moment about Peter’s arrest, but the mention of his  “serious eye condition” makes me wonder.

VETERAN ABC journalist Peter Lloyd has been arrested in Singapore on drug trafficking charges and could face 20 years in a Singapore jail and up to 15 strokes of the cane if found guilty.

The 41-year-old Australian is accused of supplying the drug ice to a Singaporean man.

Mr Lloyd is the ABC’s South Asia correspondent based in New Delhi.

He was in Singapore on leave when he was arrested by officers from Singapore’s Narcotics Bureau.

It is understood that police found a packet of ice weighing approximately 0.8 grams, one improvised smoking pipe and six syringes during a search of the apartment where he was arrested.

“His urine was screened positive for amphetamines, a controlled drug, on the instant urine test machine,” one of the arresting officer’s alleged.

In a statement released a short time ago, ABC News director John Cameron said:  “Peter was in Singapore on leave from his posting in New Delhi.

“The ABC has not been told of the full details of the case, but we were aware that Peter had been undergoing hospital treatment in Singapore for a serious eye condition which he contracted while on leave.

The Australian 18-07-08

What’s interesting is how quickly Peter’s Wikipedia entry was updated :

Another journalistic meltdown? It wouldn’t be the first time.

Who knows?  A small window of opportunity, perhaps,  for Peter’s salvation, at least on the ABC news website:

A statement from Singapore’s Central Narcotics Bureau says the 41-year-old was arrested in the course of a follow-up search after the arrest of another man, a 31-year-old Singaporean.

The glimmer of hope here is that Peter’s arrest was a mistake, he was caught up in something he knew nothing about. i want to make it clear I’m not making excuses here, just speculating. On the other hand…

Is there a serious cultural/social/psychological fissure opening up in the world of journalism and journalists? Is this a zeitgeist issue? Or am I reading too much into a week in which journalists come unstuck in a big way and in close proximity?

Mere coincidence is my bet, for now.

On the other hand, some people think it’s possible to come back from a near (professional) death experience:

18 July 2008
Media commentator Deborah Coddington believes former sports presenter Tony Veitch could work in the media again, after he has done his penance.

The Radio Sport and TVNZ broadcaster has resigned after revealing he lashed out against his former partner Kristin Dunne-Powell. Ms Dunne-Powell has now filed a formal complaint with police.

Ms Coddington says she does not want to condone what Mr Veitch may have done, but she feels sorry for him because the media has been in a frenzy over the story. She believes that if Mr Veitch has the talent, grit and determination, he can come back from this fall from grace, but she believes he needs a lot of help in terms of coping when things get on top of him.

NZ City compile

“Penance”, is that a circle of Hell? (see below). I’m not sure that Ms Coddington’s right about this.

But what would I know. Today I laid a $100 bet with Tim Watkin that if  Dubya doesn’t bomb Iran before Christmas 2008, then Obama will do the deed before Christmas 2009. What’s that about a fool and their money?

“Sonny, if you want it here it is, come and get it…”

I’m serious about this Obama kick. Too many “liberals” have too much faith invested in the Chicago pseudo-serious change merchant. I mentioned to Tim and Eleanor that I think the same missplaced and ultimately faith-based trust was placed in Kevin Rudd last year. in the build-up to the Australian election.

Now look at what’s going on ‘across the ditch, with Kevin. 07’s blessing.  The Pope is the new reality TV star for teenage Australians, their friends from India and Brazil  and their creepy Catholic middle-age male hangers-on. I personally can’t stand it; awful fat f*cks in frocks in their hundreds sitting on an opulent stage bewildering the flock of faithful.

This photo was circulated at work this week. Sorry I can’t acknowledge the photographer, I’m sure it’s only viral. It’s a priceless commentary and probably annoying for the CattleTicks too.

I don’t do tea leaves, but I did feel a chill on Sunday when I read this headline in the News over a front page story by Jonathan Marshall.

Vietch Scandal gets worse

It did too. Monday’s New Zealand Herald revealed more about the injuries suffered by Kristin Dunne-Powell.

Veitch left Kristin on floor for hours

And again on Wednesday: CIB detectives on Veitch case

Then on Thursday the axe we’d all been waiting for. Tony Veitch resigned from TVNZ and the Radio Network and a statement from Dunne-Powell’s lawyers confirmed that a complaint had been made to Auckland police.

A week from Hell and there’s no exit sign in view.

No one covered themselves in glory on this story; much mud was flung, some of it stuck. There are still some lingering questions and a long way to go before a full recovery can be pronounced.

I’m curious about a number of things, including did Paul Holmes really write Tony’s statement from a week ago? It seems he might have, though neither he nor anyone else is likely to admit it. Did Radio Network put him up to it? Was it a last-ditch attempt to salvage something?

More importantly perhaps, what were both men thinking when they sat down and recorded this extraordinary interview?

PH: What is your situation, employment-wise?

TV: I don’t know. I don’t know where it’s going …

PH: Well, you’ve been suspended from radio.

TV: Yeah, and they’re currently investigating that internally.

PH: TVNZ?

TV: Ah, at this stage, not sure.

PH: Situation fluid?

TV: Yep.

PH: How much of what happened that night can you tell me?

TV: Paul, for reasons of which I’m sure you’re aware, I can just say there was a terrible incident which I have lived through, thought about, regretted, tried to explain in my own head and in my own heart since it happened two and a half years ago. What I can say is, I didn’t know how to react or handle myself.

Tears well in Veitch’s eyes. He cannot speak.

PH: Go on.

[Holmes interview with Veitch 13 July]

What drugs is PR maven Michelle Boag taking? Just after the story broke two weeks ago Michelle was on TV saying Tony Veitch could be back on air in two weeks and that his career could recover. I wonder if her clients are asking for a rate review, or a second opinion? She was way off the mark.

What drugs should out-to-pasture columnist Garth George be taking? His NZ Herald column on Thursday 17 July was all over the place. I agree with Audent on this one and here’s why.

What I can’t understand is why such a huge fuss is being made over this incident, which happened two years ago, except that it must have something to do with the fact that Veitch is a talking head on TV, a voice on radio and, apparently, an after-dinner speaker.

But even the fact that he’s a public figure doesn’t explain the hysteria that revelations of his contretemps with his former partner have created.

Contretemps? Get real Mr George. This was not a fair fight here, it wasn’t a spat over who feeds the cat or changes the bed linen. There’s was far too much of this type of thinking going on in commentaries on this issue. It’s probably to be expected from some of Tony’s friends, but not independent columnists. On the other hand there were columns like this one by Tapu Misa that put the issue into its proper context.

Not surprisingly, Veitch seems to have played down the seriousness of the assault, both when he told his bosses at TVNZ and The Radio Network late last year and when he made his carefully scripted public apology last week, in which he offered up the classic excuses familiar to those who work with the perpetrators of domestic violence.

Somehow he managed to paint himself as a victim of circumstances. He “agreed to let” his former girlfriend go over to his house; there had been, he told Paul Holmes later, “a terrible incident”, as if he had been its helpless victim rather than an agent.

[When sorry just doesn't cut it]

Tony’s celebrity certainly played a part in this story - a big part. His public profile certainly made the issue front page news and kept it on the front page for two weeks. It certainly would not have received the same coverage if the perpetrator had been my hypotehtical Taranaki bricklayer from a recent post.

However, that doesn’t reduce the severity of the alleged assault, or lessen the potential penalties that could be waiting at the conclusion of a police inquiry. What it does do though, is highlight the issues around whether or not Mr Veitch is/was a role model. I don’t think so, in fact it would be sad if all we had to look up to was talking heads from the television. I’ve been over these arguments, so no need to rehash them here, suffice to say there was some support from editorials here and there.

Finlay McDonald at the SST is one who feels strongly about this.

In the sense that crimes and misdemeanors are inherently signs of society’s disapproval, those who breach our legal and ethical codes are a “bad influence” regardless of their public profile. Men who put women in wheelchairs do not require any extra judgement on the basis of their being role models.

Besides, do you know of anyone who “looks up” to the likes of Veitch and his fellow autocue plug-ins (as I once read them uncharitably described)? They may well be admired or even envied for their jobs, salaries and lifestyles, but that constitutes aspirational behaviour in the same way wanting bigger breasts makes Pamela Anderson a role model for certain women.

[Model behaviour? That's not his role]

I think it’s also time to move on from the TVNZ bashing that has gone on around this story. My consistent position has been that the managers who were told late last year about the incident were not given a chapter and verse statement. I think Rick Ellis’s statement of 18 July bears this out:

While [Tony Veitch] did outline a situation that included a minor fracas two years earlier, this was not the focus of the meeting. The nature of the discussion left those in that meeting, who are all senior and very experienced managers, with the clear view that it was a private matter of a civil nature that was being worked out between the parties concerned.

[TVNZ statement of 18 July]

This story still has a long way to play out. The police investigation may take some time, then there’s the prospect of a drawn-out trial with potentially sensational evidence and more tears all around I suspect.

A friend of mine swears this is true. I have no reason to dispute the facts or the interpretation. One for the “What the?” file.

His laptop was stolen and when he got it back this is the story.

A stolen laptop, a whole bucket of badass. An interesting “money shot”.

Here are some of the pics we found on the laptop. I know I made the last entry friends-only, but fuck it. If you missed that one, sign in to get the story, and then check these out. I’ve shrunk the pics to make it easy on your bandwidth - 17 pics, each about 20k. This right here is Mr I-Tattooed-My-Chest-With-Guns’ Facebook page… It’s open to anyone, so if you sign in, you can see how much of a loser this fuck is.

I’m not going to write his name here, lest he knows how to use Google.

I’ve deleted the ten shots from this set that would implicate other people, including the last two pics…they relate to someone in the news - who should perhaps be more discrete - and who’s apparently been leaving messages on this guy’s Facebook recently.

But is it real? Not for me to say. There are several pages attributed to the same or similar nom-de-facebook. You can sort that out for yourself.

XXX wrote
at 5:51am on July 5th, 2008

hey hun allgood buzi that your dwn there,when do u get back,yeah we should catch up for a coffe,or ken bar on anzac is mean for dinner.let me knw. X

Not true - Moac and I are off the the “thee-ate-’er” anytime soon to see Cat on a hot tin roof - irresistible.

Before we go, just a quick hat tip to Lisa Owen, TVOne news reporter and in a tough spot. Lisa is the reporter covering the Tony Veitch affair.

Lisa, you have made this story worthwhile. You are maintaining some integrity for TVNZ in this crisis.

I think you were brave tonight to name Anthony Flannery because TV3 didn’t do that. The December meeting revalations made today by both TVNZ and the Radio Network add a new and needed dimension to this story. It’s not easy being in your position - inside the organisation that’s caught up in it.

You did a gutsy report on Wednesday too. You are part of the future and the recovery of the network’s news credibility.

I acknowledge you are also a colleague and friend to Tony Veitch - there was something in your eyes tonight that captured some pain (maybe my flighty imagination!). The conflict is there and you are at the frontline of journalism on this story.

It’s not a comfortable place but I admire your principled position - all power to you.

I’m sure there’s more to come out here - it’s become an ugly mess for everyone.

It’s interesting that we haven’t yet heard from the Dom Post on why they broke this story; who there sources were, or any deals that may have been done.

It seems that Ms Dunne-Powell might not have been consulted, but her family is saying very little. Was there an invasion of privacy here? Who confirmed to the Dom Post the existence of the confidentiality agreement? Was that done with Ms Dunne-Powell’s knowledge or not?

Friday’s Dom Post editorial did not answer these questions, instead it concentrated on nit-picking TVNZ.

However, I did enjoy the NZ Herald’s Friday editorial, particularly this line, which I had rehearsed much earlier in the week:

The myth of the role model has never been more evident than in this case. Veitch, for all his ability to talk, could never have been regarded thus. Nor, for that matter, could the errant All Black Jimmy Cowan and numerous others whose personal failings have spoiled their professional facades. Could anyone seriously name a child or adult who looked up to these individuals in any kind of aspirational way?

[Leave Veitch for the police]

So to end the week’s frenzy - boquets and brickbats. Recipients know which award they’re to collect. Ladies and gentlemen, form an orderly queue to my right.

This has to hurt:

Veitch strife gets the Tui treatment

I was on holidays when the latest “Get Hager” campaign began after the Wellington-based independent journalist Nicky Hager wrote recently about the National Party’s continuing relationship with Australian political spin-meisters the Crosby/Textor group. The story appeared in the Sunday Star Times and seems to be a detailed rundown of C/T’s activities behind the scenes in the Nationals’ election strategy for 2008.

But Key has not been disclosing an important secret about his leadership: that each step of his campaign to become prime minister has been overseen and directed by the same professional manipulators used (and also kept secret) by his predecessor, Don Brash. They are the Australian political tacticians, Crosby/Textor. Their role advising Key is known to National Party staff, including some who are uneasy about Crosby/Textor’s involvement, but has been kept secret from the public.

[Nat's secret advisors accused of dirty tricks in Aussie]

From time to time Nicky comes under fire for his strong views, persistent digging and the exposure of political spin for what it is. I’m not surprised that the National apparatchiks and politicians despise him and try to discredit him at every turn.

However, I was surprised to read an attack on Hager’s credibility by Fran O’Sullivan in Saturday’s (13 July) New Zealand Herald.  The Herald is published by the SST’s rival newspaper company, so perhaps there’s a commercial agenda in play here. But I suspect it’s more than that. O’Sullivan refuses to acknowledge the legitimacy of Hager’s journalistic credentials; instead she calls him an “activist”, though I know that Hager is careful not to be involved upfront in political campaigning today.

I seriously had trouble following Fran’s arguments in this piece. The sense and sentences seemed to jump around in uncharacteristic disorganisation. Take this sequence:

But instead of examining whether New Zealand’s incumbent Prime Minister also employs such tactics, Hager trots out the line that National’s continued employment of Australian political strategy firm Crosby/Textor (just one of the consultants the party has hired) is proof positive that aspiring PM John Key is little more than a political puppet for “foreign” ventriloquists who feed him all his lines.

On Planet Nicky, NZ political journalists are nothing more than ready dupes who unknowingly parrot the lines conjured up by the real power brokers who, ipso facto, must be irredeemably evil.

This is patronising nonsense. In Australia it’s long been recognised that political parties of both Labor and Liberal hue resort to what used to be called “machine men” politics.

[Earth calling Hager,..get a grip please]

What’s the link between these two ideas? where’s the tie-in between Hager’s oft-voiced concern about the lack of real independence in some Press Gallery journalists and the “machine men” of Australian politics? It seems to me that Fran has perhaps not read Nicky’s piece in the SST. It does document C/T’s involvement in National strategy and planning and it seems that some of the same National Party sources who helped Hager with the Hollow Men might also be giving him material now.

I was pleased to see that the Fairfax press seems willing to continue pushing this story - it is not yet fully in the pockets of the Nats, unlike some at the Herald it would seem. Ruth Laugesen followed up the Hager piece on July 6. [How National's spin doctors operate]

National loyalists continue to give Hager material because they trust him. He has never revealed his sources and his very careful to ensure they are not compromised by his journalism. Nicky is a very principled person and has excellent ethical values. Whenever he talks to my students they are impressed with his attitude, sincerity, openess and intelligence.

And yet O’sullivan says that Hager is “thin skinned” because he responded a week ago to another round of spurious allegations that he “stole” some emails from Don Brash to compile material for the irritatingly successful Hollow Men.

The row erupted when conservative consultant and commentator Matthew Hooten raised the theft allegations again in an interview with Kathryn Ryan; according to O’Sullivan:

[Hager] became rather exercised over some excitable comments made by right-wing columnist Matthew Hooten on Kathryn Ryan’s radio show last week.

This week Radio NZ ran the following: “We accept Nicky Hager’s continued assurances that he did not steal the emails which were published in his book The Hollow Men … Radio New Zealand apologises to Nicky Hager for comments which asserted the position was otherwise.”

But Brash - who came to Hooten’s defence - is now asserting the police failed to properly investigate his complaint over the emails theft.

Inerstingly O’Sullivan does not bother to speak to Hager for this piece. The police have investigated the theft allegations and Nicky Hager is not under suspicion, but nevertheless it is a useful distraction for the Nationals and their supporters. It is a neat way of moving attention from the story of the day to questions that tend to discredit Nicky’s reporting and suggest he’s somehow involved in illegal activity, at least around the Hollow Men book.

The same “stolen email” line was used a few days earlier in another Herald column, this time by John Roughan who describes Hager as a former anti-nuclear activist:

Nicky Hager, the cunning anti-nuclear campaigner of yesteryear, seems to be carving out a new career in disingenuous political naivete…Brash is still smouldering at the theft of his private messages - understandably since personal stuff that Hager did not publish led to his downfall - but email, I think, is fair game.

[Hager's horror the only thing ringing hollow]

There is no link between Nicky Hager and the theft of the Brash emails. This was disclosed in a police report in April 2008. Interestingly it was covered intensively in the Sunday Star Times, but not in other media:

Mr Hager has always maintained the emails were leaked to him by National Party sources and said those who claimed they were gained by theft should apologise to him.

He would not tell police the source of the emails but the National Party has rejected a mole in its ranks and still believes the emails were stolen, probably by someone who hacked into Dr Brash’s email system.

Mr Hager told Radio New Zealand this morning that he continued to get material from National and other parties, but he had no plans for another book.

“I am still regularly getting information from the National Party as I do from other parties.”

He said some of the sources were still in the National Party and he had recently been in contact with the people who leaked him information.

“They’re happy and I am happy (that their identities would not be revealed). I couldn’t do my job and reasonably expect people to give me information if the police could find out. I am very happy with the result.”

The National Party is frustrated that the police inquiry failed to find who took emails from Brash.

Leader John Key believes a hacker did it, despite police ruling out a breach of the parliamentary computer system.

Wellington police district crime services manager Detective Inspector Harry Quinn yesterday said the investigation into the theft had ended without identifying who was responsible.

“How the thefts occurred still largely remains a mystery,” Mr Quinn said.

The investigation established that emails created between October 2003 and November 2005 had been stolen from Dr Brash, but found no evidence of thefts since November 2005.

Mr Quinn said there was “no evidence” the thefts were perpetrated by someone involved in the administration of the computer systems, and police had eliminated the suggestion “an external computer hacker had breached the computer security within Parliament”.

“There are strong indications that the emails were in printed form at the time of the theft, but with the thefts perhaps happening at any time over the two-year period it is very likely that they were stolen during several incidents,” he said.

“The file is closed until someone comes forward with some compelling evidence.”

[Nats leaker 'happy' to get away with it]

The suggestion that somehow Nicky Hager had something to do with stealing the emails - or that he at least knew they were stolen, continues to surface from time to time. It doesn’t appear to slow him down and I’m pleased about that. Unlike Fran O’Sullivan, I think that Nicky is actually quite thick skinned. Certainly he’s advised me to be that way when attacked by conservative bloggers. Nothing seems to upset Nicky; he’s usually very calm. He needs to be as he has plenty of enemies. Some of them (see below) are quite vicious and in some cases unhinged.

Backgrounder:

The story in the SST about Brash and CrosbyTextor did get some mileage, most of it aimed at discrediting Hager, rather than asking questions of John Key about Crosby/Textor’s role in their campaign. These insinuations included a comment from conservative consultant Matthew Hooten on National Radio that led to a bit of a heated exchange and which has since been taken down from the network’s website. If you’re inclined you can follow the recent dicussions about Crosby/Textor, John Key and Nicky Hager in the blogosphere, under this rock, near, far, here, there, hive and everywhere.

It’s quite interesting how the dribblejaws always fall slobbering on this stuff. They’re greedy little suckers and feed quite well at the National tit.

I couldn’t help it. I saw the promo for the TV One sports quiz show Game of Two Halves [GoTH] on Friday evening and decided to tune in. I thought I should take a look at the programme that was previously hosted/moderated by suspended presenter Tony Veitch.

The promos were a big tease.

In the first promo,  fronted by the show’s star performers, Marc Ellis and Matthew Ridge, was the promise to tackle the big question of the week in sport – but it wasn’t “Does Tony Veitch have a future?”, it was a lame joke about the All Blacks test against the Springboks. It ended with a female v/o: “The lads go wild about sports.”

The second promo in the next ad break was worse (in a sense). It was a similar format, but this time the “question” was about netball. Who would win he weekend semi-final between the Swifts and in Marc Ellis’s words: “those other birds” . The tag line voice over had been changed: “The lads go nutty about sport.”

indeed, the lads are “nutty”. they’re also reasonably offensive, childish, violent, sexist, homophobic and totally not funny.

Honestly, I can’t believe that TVNZ would tolerate the inane and loutish behaviour of these so-called stars, but that’s not the real issue here [I'll come back to it though].

Given the controversy around the Tony Veitch’s alleged assault on his former girlfriend and his suspension from TVNZ and the Radio Network, It was obvious he wouldn’t front GoTH, but how would the programme deal with the biggest story of the week - the suspension of their mate and co-host from his high-flying media career?

It was a legitimate question given the fact that Veitch’s mate and GoTH sidekick Matthew Ridge had come out in the Dominion Post condemning the assault that morning (Friday).

Matthew Ridge says Tony Veitch’s assault of a former partner is despicable and he may not want to appear on Game of Two Halves with him.

Ridge, who appears on the sports quiz show alongside Veitch, said the assault on Kristin Dunne-Powell sounded “pretty horrific” and inexcusable.

“It’s despicable. I’ve never been one to condone violence, especially violence against women.

“In my book it’s a no-no.”

[Matthew Ridge damns Veitch attack]

This is a pretty strong statement,  but the whole situation was totally ignored by Ridge and Ellis for the entire GoTH smutfest. The boys clowned around as if there was nothing unusual about the Veitch stand-in Martin Devlin being in the middle.

The biggest story of the week, one that Ridge had already involved himself in and “zip, nada, nothing”. Not a word. Instead the studio audience (perhaps the show is pre-recorded) was treated to the usual crotch-grabbing, fake mincing, sexist and infantile humour that the show is (I guess) “famous” for.

The first five minutes is some crazy free-for-all of button-pressing, interrupting, shouting mayhem that left me confused. I’m not sure that even the studio audience - predisposed to like this mush - could even follow the goings on.

In the second segment, called “Paper, scissors, rock”, two of the guest contestants - a rotating coterie of footy players past and present - had to play the kid’s game and then spell a word or name given to them by Devlin. On a table in front of the pair were two plastic hard hats and two wooden spoons. If the contestant failed to spell the word correctly their “opponent” got to bash them on the scone with the wooden spoon. Preferably on the plastic hat.

The whole thing was childish and the contestants basically appeared to be illiterate. One even resorted to spelling with his hands, mouthing the letters silently to himself as he tried to work out the spelling of a player’s name.

The whacks on the head weren’t gentle either. One guy broke his spoon over the other’s head to a round of guffaws from everyone else. If these guys are role models then the violent behaviour they’re modelling on GoTH is disgusting.

The next challenge was “Charades”. The players are given the name of a sports star and without speaking they have to portray that name to their team mates to win points. At one stage Matthew Ridge had to imitate cheesecake dancer and reality TV “personality” Hayley Holt. Ridge pulled on the front of shirt to imitate breasts. To convey the image of another female, Ridge started dry-humping the desk in front of him. The boys got the references every time.

Again the behaviours “modelled” in this segment were, at the least distasteful. I could argue they were worse, but sh*t, it’s only a game show.

In a segment where the teams had to watch a quick selection of shots on a video and then answer questions there was another crude sexual moment. One team was asked how many balls a featured tennis player in his shorts,  the answer had to be three – of course.

In a segment where the players had to identify a male sports figure from a semi-naked torso shot there was a “disturbing” comment from one of the players I couldn’t identify because they were out of shot.

He implied that only a gay man would have any knowledge of the bodies of other men as a reason why he couldn’t identify the players.

One of the images was a photo of Ridge holding his crotch, dressed only in budgie smugglers. Marc Ellis knew exactly who it was and jumped up,  hand on crotch, yelling  “How you doing ladies?”

An inappropriate comment, I would think, in a week where the adult relations between rugby players and their adoring female fans was again in the news.

As I understand the format - and I’m not a regular viewer - the losing captain has to take a “punishment” each week. This is another violent section involving pain and sexual humiliation.

Losing captain Marc Ellis was put into a standing stocks while two others held his arms to stop him moving. The winning captain Matthew Ridge then smeared his face with a huge plateful of wasabi. Ridge then ran off the set as if anticipating some form of retaliation from Ellis.

Towards the end of the show Matthew Ridge made the off-hand comment that it had been a “tumultuous week”. Yeah Matthew, what better way for the lads to let off steam than to beat and humiliate each other, and crack some weak laddish jokes laced with sexism and homophobia.

A top night boys?

To his credit Monty Beetham looked out of place, the rest were a disgrace.

TVNZ should be as embarrassed about this travesty of a program as they appear to be about Tony Veitch’s off-air behaviour.

So the Radio Network has suspended Tony Veitch, pending an internal inquiry and the police have announced there own investigation. The doors are slamming shut on Veitch’s career.

An interesting result on a New Zealand Herald online readers’ poll today. It’s split 50-50 on whether or not Tony Veitch should keep his job at TVNZ.

I haven’t seen tonight’s news on TV One yet, but last night (Tuesday) the coverage on his own network was pretty negative.

TVOne’s coverage of the Tony Veitch media scrum yesterday is interesting. I don’t usually read tea leaves, but the tone of the coverage and the third person way that TVOne reporter Lisa Owen talks about TVNZ management seems to indicate Tony’s already been cut loose - at least by some of his former colleagues. There’s no super on the talking head and apologies I don’t recognise her, but there’s no love here for Veitchy.

It ain’t looking good.