Michael Laws – self-praising dribblejaws

Thanks to Jess for alerting me to this.

Whanganui Mayor and inveterate loudmouth bully Michael Laws is at it again. This time he’s outrageously demanding the the “underclass” be sterilised.

This was the kind of ethnic cleansing policy followed by the Nazis in the 1930s and look where that got us. It’s also a popular battle cry amongst modern fascists of the BNP and White Power varieties.

But who is Laws speaking for? He as asked to define underclass by a Dominion Post reporter and this was his reply:

“A group of people who have no stake in our society, who are certainly welfare dependent, who have alcohol and drug problems and usually are criminals or consort with criminals.”

This to me could just as easily describe a bunch of Auckland property developers, wastrel socialites and finance company executives.

I’ve always felt that there’s a huge conflict of interest between Laws’ role as mayor of a major New Zealand city and his constant yabbering on the radio and in the Sunday papers.

Take this gem – Laws explaining why there are so few female executives:

Because feminism has allowed us to have our cake and eat it too. We get the sassy, sexually liberated sheilas who fulfil body and mind. But they also pull the ambition pin when their hormones kick in and they want kids.

And men do know women’s guilty secret. That they like being maternal, no matter how many letters after their name.

Why it’s great to be a guy [like Michael Laws]

Though, I do like this piece of honest self-reflction from the dribblejaws enthusiast:

READERS WILL appreciate that I’m not a particularly “deep” person. I am my gender, and despite the occasional philosopher or mystic, we males are a superficial lot. Which explains the eternal attraction of the bimbo with boobs.

Organ strife dead wrong

In this piece, about why it’s right to be an organ donor, Laws calls Maori party co-leader Tariana Turia a “racist” and then gets onto one of his favourite hobby-horses “special treatment” for Maori and Pasifika communities:

Cultural silliness from Maori and Pacific Island folk, that there’s something inherently righteous about going to the grave with all your God-given bits. And yet they are first in the queue to accept organs when required.

And the dog-whistle one-liner that follows like a stinking turd of a punchline:

There must be times when New Zealanders get bold enough to challenge the superstitious or silly excesses of other cultures.

That’s right Maori  and Pacific Island “folk” [condescending ass] you are NOT New Zealanders. Go figure, you were here first and whupped whitey’s ass in a war, but you are not of this place. And Laws thinks Ms Turia is a racist. This really is the spotless white kettle calling the pot “brown”.

Laws is the champion of not heeding his own advice. This from a recent column:

ALL MEN have fantasies. I’d like to write “all men and women”, but I’m being PC this week. I am excluding any satire/humour/mocking of any group that is not white, middle-aged, male and middle-class.

Behind every weak man is a successful Amazon

What a [Rodney] Hide this man’s got. First, his columns are rarely funny and there’s no discernable satire. and Laws is the first to attack the wobbly concept of “PC” – notice it’s our enemies, not our friends who refer to us this way. This is one of those dreadul “Shit, I’ve got a deadline and nothing to write about” columns where the panic-stricken writer falls back on family and friends and mocks loved ones. A crime against column-writing and a waste of space in any newspaper.

Another such effort surfaced around the annual boobs-on-bikes parade when Laws sought intellectual justification for his sordid pervy peculiarities:

It is sleazy, noisy and attracts every adolescent oink within 50km. But, gee, it’s fun. Heterosexual men love it because it allows a man to do what a man does best – to ogle the unobtainable.


Even when he’s praising a woman – his choices are pretty feral – he can’t resist the ogle factor:

I’VE NEVER known what to make of Christine Rankin. She is not simply a polarising personality (thus drawing my instant empathy), but she has this unique style. All legs and cleavage.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate legs and cleavage: dear Lord, I’m a middle-aged heterosexual male. Appreciation is about all you get to do. And there are obviously some men in the public service who got to perv at much closer proximity.

Christine Rankin’s a champion

That’s enough. I could go on, but the truth this Michael Laws has not contributed anything to the advancement of Kiwi culture through his columns. He’s a loud-mouth who delights in offending. I suppose you could argue he’s the consumate “shock-jock”, others might say he’s a simple wanker.

It’s time to retire Mike, you’re boring us to tears.

3 Responses to Michael Laws – self-praising dribblejaws

  1. Medusa says:

    “READERS WILL appreciate that I’m not a particularly “deep” person”…no doubt there’s not too much between his ears either! What kind of a crappy comment is that from a person who controls (using that term extremely loosely) Whanganui progress.

    “She is not simply a polarising personality (thus drawing my instant empathy), but she has this unique style. All legs and cleavage.” well, f*&k right off, how does this guy become Mayor of anything with comments like this little beauty + all of the above???

    I simply do not get it and strongly hope he is not returned to the position at the next opportunity!

  2. ConorJoe says:

    Bores me to jeers.

  3. rob says:

    This sort of archaic doddery fuck is the perfect embodiment of ‘old news’ where a paternal WASP decreed assent and knowledge from on high. Dude needs to piss of to Kabul, where his 5th century views on women will be appreciated…and while he’s there, maybe an IED suppository.

Leave a reply and try to be polite

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: