So fuckin’ angry..She really should have gone to rehab

July 25, 2011

Amy, Amy, Amy. Addiction, talent, sex, drugs, rock-n-jazz.
Fuck it. You’re dead.

“You know that I was trouble”

A dark ‘martini’ in your honour.

When I say “dark” and “martini” in the same sentence I am reminded of Frank Moorhouse and Monsieur Voltz’ “crazy drinks“.

This is the “espresso martini”, if you must here’s the so-called “recipe”. Just one, but wash it down with something citrus.

Ingredients:-

coarse brown sugar (also called raw sugar or turbinado sugar)


1 shot freshly brewed espresso
1/2 ounce Kahlua
11/2 ounces Stolichnaya Vanilla vodka
3 espresso beans for garnish

How to make:-

Dip the rim of a chilled martini glass in cold water, then in the sugar.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.
Make a fresh shot of espresso and pour it into the shaker, over ice.
Pour in Kahlua and vanilla vodka.
Shake well for 45 seconds and pour into glass. Float 3 espresso beans on top for garnish.
Makes 1. [CookingAge]

Voltz is right, this is a sweet abortion of a classic and does not deserve to be called “Martini”, but tonight, there’s no way you won’t want one of these.

Tonight I make an exception. Drown your sorrows and wake up with a fucking monster headache, at least you get to wake up.

A cribbed toast:

“You’re so beautiful, before today,
put it in the box.
Frank’s in there, and I don’t care.
Take the box

I really love you”

But at the end of our binge mourning, we know who’s no good and it’s not Amy Winehouse

And from MOAC and the Kiwi Amy…but not.

Gin Wigmore who didn’t know this would be a tribute.


The new, slim Domestic – Voltz would be pleased

July 20, 2008

As this is a blog that makes claims to be about martinis as well as journalism, ethics, politics and whatever catches my eye now and again, it is time to embrace an aspect of martini culture that is often overlooked.

I’m talking about the martini glass; sometimes they’re too heavy, or otherwise clumsy. I may have found a good alternative.

Read the rest of this entry »


Vermouth, the whole truth and nothing but Vermouth

January 6, 2008

I’m enjoying a bit of holiday reading, Frank Moorhouse’s memoir – Martini.
I’m realising how little I actually know about this most impressive of alcoholic bevvies.

For instance: What are the correct proportions of gin to vermouth? And let’s not even get started on the pros and cons of bastardised versions, what Moorhouse calls the “Crazy Drinks”; chocolate martinis and the like***

Getting back to the vermouth question: How much is too much?
There are those who believe a martini is basically gin with a threat of vermouth. In my opinion they might as well drink their gin neat. I’ve always been one for a generous splash of vermouth and I agree with Moorhouse that it’s purpose is to smooth out, or ‘sweeten’ the drink.

I also agree that a martini made with sweet vermouth is a travesty, though some people like them that way.

Moorhouse says his preferred mix, and the domestic version of the martini he makes himself, is 5-1 (gin-vermouth). This seems about right to me, though I sometimes make them at three-one. And I have, on occasion, told barkeeps to make sure they don’t pour the vermouth off before adding the gin to the shaker.

Partly this is the Yorkshireman in me; I’ve paid for a martini and it has vermouth in it; don’t pour my vermouth down the sink! But also it’s about the mix, the taste, the impact etc. A martini is a blend and I want to taste the blend. If I want neat gin, I’ll ask for it.

Here’s a recipe for those who like their martini mostly gin, with very little vermouth. I’ll try this in the next couple of days and let you know what I think.

The Montgomery Martini
According to Moorhouse this is named after the British general, Montgomery, at least as mentioned in Ernest Hemingway’s novel Across the river and into the trees. It is so-called because Monty was famous for never attacking without overwhelming numbers.

15:1 (gin-vermouth).

Hmmmm.

As Moorhouse writes: “My secret agenda in this book is to bring back the vermouth to the martini.”
I’ll drink to that!

*** I am actually partial to the fruity, choclately martini. I have previously mentioned the Musket Room in Ponsonby Road (Auckland); they have excellent Crazy Drink martini derivatives.


Summer reading, some are drinking

January 4, 2008


Ah, dear reader:
It’s been a long time between posts. I must say that there’s a small amount of guilt attached. If one is going to blog then one must do so regularly. To do otherwise is to leave the blogosphere to others and to render oneself invisible again.

I am to begin this new year as I intend to continue – by posting on a regular basis. I’m also keen to enlist the talents of others who share my interest in politics, media and martinis.

It’s also humbling to realise that the martini is more than the sum of its parts. A quick search on Amazon.com uncovers a whole genre of writing about martinis that I, a self-proclaimed afficionado, knew next to nothing about.

I stand in the shadow of some giant literary figures who have not only enjoyed drinking martinis (something I can honestly claim to share with them) but who have also written extensively of their passion.

One such is my new literary hero, Frank Moorhouse. I remember reading some of Frank’s novels while at university some 30 years ago; but I didn’t realise how important his work would be in beginning my own education into the rituals and rich history of the martini.

I bought my copy of Martini: A memoir, several years ago and intended to read it, but didn’t get around to it. However, prompted by a friend who’s just read it, I fished it out the box where it lay dormant for the past year and plunged in.

Like an ice-cold, fresh smooth martini it was pleasure from the first word. I drank in the opening essay and silently apologised to Mr Moorhouse for neglecting this masterpiece for so long.

I’m not really far into it yet, but Martini is a book to be savoured, sipped and coddled.

In the first piece, Martini City, we are introduced to Moorhouse’s drinking companion, Voltz; an expert on the history and passion of the martini. The two men discuss the ‘martini city’ – a place where the martini is well-made and appreciated. I like to think that some of my haunts in Auckland are such places: the bars and nightspots that make my new home (I’ve been here a year now) a delightful place to drink a martini and enjoy the lively ambience of this Pacific-rim town.
Moorhouse also includes this wonderful short ditty from Dorothy Parker:

‘I like to have a martini
Two at the very most
After three I’m under the table
After four I’m under my host.’

I clearly have a lot of learning to do and I’ll start by finishing Martini and then reading some of Moorhouse’s other books in which the martini is both a character, a lubricant and an anaesthetic.

Happy New Year, and “cheers”