“Fugly?” Not with my clothes on. Yeah right!

April 10, 2010

Australian government says Afghanistan safe for refugees

The Australian government is suspending refugee applications from Sri Lanka and Afghanistan, saying the security situation in both countries is now good enough and no one should fear for their lives.

Financial Services Minister Chris Bowen says security conditions in Sri Lanka and Afghanistan are improving to the point where less refugee applications from these two countries will be granted.

“We are seeing signs in Sri Lanka and Afghanistan that the situation has improved enough to lead one to the conclusion that less refugee applications will be granted,” Mr Bowen said told Lateline.

Yeah right!


An honest mistake – right under their noses too

Oh dear Mr Marshall, what a lucky honest mistake you made at the District Court.

Accidentally picking up some papers you weren’t supposed to have; conscientiously using them as the basis for a story and then returning them with an apology.

In response to the incident, Sunday Star Times publisher Mitchell Murphy said, “This was an honest mistake. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Anyone else might call it dishonest, but we know, it was just a lucky break. Yeah right!


We can make money from this fugly’s humiliation

  • K-Pick impresses judges with song

    Kim Pickering - the new SuBo Daily Telegraph

  • She says she’s a shy account clerk
  • Inspired by SuBo

SHE is shy in public but comes alive when performing musical theatre in Sydney retirement and nursing homes – now Susan Boyle doppelganger Kim Pickering Jones is trying to replicate her hero’s success.

The single 42-year-old woman from Mt Kuring-gai blew away producers, judges and a 1000-strong live audience with her rendition of the George Gershwin classic Summertime while auditioning for TV show Australia’s Got Talent.

She’s a fortune star in the making. Yeah right!

Not fugly, just f#$%&*g ugly

“Whilst a long time ago it might have been short for … two words … it is now being used regularly, particularly in entertainment circles, as simply an adjective. For example it is being used to describe an attitude or a dress,” said TVNZ news spokeswoman Andi Brotherston.

Mark Sainsbury thinks Nanny McPhee is “fugly”, but the Broadcasting Standards Authority believes  it’s not swearing to say so. Has Mr Sainsbury visited the room of mirrors recently. Yeah right!

Check out Lara’s bingles

Since when did the Australian Football League give itself the power to be an arbiter of what an AFL player can and cannot photograph? Brisbane player Brendan Fevola has not been sanctioned for allegedly circulating a semi-nude image of serial girlfriend Lara Bingle.

Why is Bingle so upset? There are plenty of semi-nude images of her circulating. From my brief survey it looks like she happily posed for them.

League official Adrian Anderson said there was “insufficient evidence” to punish Fevola.

Hang on, he took the photo; how else did it get around to his player mates?

“All AFL players and officials should be aware that taking and distributing private images without consent is unacceptable and can result in sanctions,” Anderson said.

Yeah right!

Bye bye Bebo

Social-networking site Bebo, which has about 630,000 members in New Zealand, is set to be sold or shut down.

Parent company AOL has announced it will not provide new funding to Bebo to compete with rivals, and may sell or shut down the site.

“Bebo, unfortunately, is a business that has been declining and, as a result, would require significant investment in order to compete in the competitive social-networking space,” a company statement said.

The site has lost members to Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Meanwhile, somewhere near Little Rock…

The mother of a 16-year-old boy said she was only being a good mother when she locked him out of his Facebook account after reading he had driven home at 150km/h one night because he was mad at a girl.

He’s alleging defamation – by his mom! She says her son’s a dickwad.

Social media is so cool and it’s the future. Yeah right!


Close Up and personal – NZ’s finest tabloid TV

February 11, 2010

A chilling story in today’s New Zealand Herald, that suggests the national broadcaster has got its news priorities all arse-about.
John Drinnan reports that Prime Minister John Key was bumped from Tuesday’s Close Up programme in favour of an extended interview with former All Black star lock Robin Brooke.

Nothing newsy in that you might think, producers often have to make last minute changes to the line up of current affairs shows to accommodate breaking stories. On any ‘normal’ day such things would go unnoticed.

But this case is a bit different. The PM had just delivered a state-of-the-nation address to the opening of Parliament for 2010 and in his speech had outlined some swingeing changes to New Zealand’s tax system.

One of the changes – alongside reducing the tax burden on the super-rich – was an increase in the GST that would impact heavily on low income earners. Raising the GST from 12.5 to 15 per cent would lift the price of all the basics that most low income households spend the bulk of their hard-earned cash on.

This was a significant story of national interest and we might have expected Close Up host Mark Sainsbury to put Key under some hot lights for a grilling.

Sorry, who am I kidding. Let me rephrase that:

We might have expected Close Up host Mark Sainsbury to invite Key into the studio for a friendly chat – rehearsed in jolly tones – about his great and glorious, nay, visionary, tax proposals to help New Zealand’s struggling millionaires in their honourable quest to catch up with their well-off Aussie cousins.

Instead we got a five week old story about Robin Brooke’s drunken groping of a teenager and his threat to bash the 15-year-old girl’s gallant protector – himself a tough and seasoned 17.

Brooke was cajoled into giving a heart-felt (at least that’s what he told Sainsbury) apology. All of that took an excruciating (for Brooke and for the audience)  17 minutes and 56 seconds.

I get that Brooke was something of a Kiwi hero ‘back in the day’. But this story is titillation and tabloid celebrity tittle-tattle. The tax changes, on the other hand, affect every New Zealander and have some potentially huge political spin-offs for National’s relationship with the Maori party.

What were they thinking?

In Drinnan’s piece, a TVNZ  spokesmouth is quoted as saying that Close Up has a “preliminary booking” to speak with John Key on Budget night – that’s a whole three months away. But there’s no guarantee that this booking will be honoured. Suppose another ex-All Black does something stupid and wants to revarnish his reputation with a soft appearance on Close UP and Personal. Key will be left in the wings again.

No doubt the PM’s minders are not too worried about this. The less scrutiny of National’s robber baron tax policies, the better. Besides, three months is a long time in politics and Key doesn’t have to worry about getting a nasty chin rash from getting too Close Up and Personal with Mark Sainsbury’s feral facial hair.

Alongside rumours that John Campbell’s only got a handful of months to run on his contract and that Campbell Live is going to be dumped in favour of the atrocious @7, this is another nail in the coffin of New Zealand current affairs television.

Postscript 12.47pm

A source at TVNZ has written to note that the Herald‘s occupation of the moral high ground on this issue might in fact be them standing on a pile of the proverbial. My acquaintance sent this image as the proof of the pudding.

Should this pot call the kettle black?